


I Missed You Too

by twilightstarr



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Depression, Hiatus, Internalized Homophobia, Just one yesterday, M/M, Miss Missing You, UST, big damn kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 22:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8119690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightstarr/pseuds/twilightstarr
Summary: Pete and Patrick meet after being on hiatus and finally resolve what they've been feeling all along.





	

“Hey,” said Pete through the dead silent air of discomfort. 

“Hey, how are you?” replied Patrick. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Pete, I mean it. Really, how have you been?” 

“Why do you care?” Pete asked, with more hostility than he meant when he was really just taken aback. 

“I don’t know, because I’m your friend?” Patrick started with a defensive tone, but then added tentatively, “Or... I thought I was still your friend.” 

“You could have called--or something--if you wanted to know how I was.” 

“I… OK, maybe I should have, I just… I didn’t… I guess it would have been awkward.” 

“And you didn’t think it would be awkward for me?” Pete shot back with a true touch of resentment now. Patrick wasn’t the one who’d had the hopeless crush--not that he knew about that.

 

It went all the way back to Fall Out Boy’s beginning. Pete, upon discovering the enthusiastic fan responses to him flirting with Patrick, would exploit this during shows and interviews. Of course, he probably should have discussed this with Patrick before getting in his space in front of an audience, but then, he wasn’t known for thinking before acting. 

So instead, Patrick brought it up with him. “So uh, dude, what’s up with you like grabbing me on stage and stuff?” he asked awkwardly. 

“Oh, yeah, well you know, fangirls are into that sort of thing.” When Patrick just blinked, Pete continued, “You know, boys acting kinda gay. Oh, uh, don’t worry too much about it though. I look a hell of a lot gayer than you. You don’t have to do anything back if--” 

“Are you?” Patrick interrupted. 

“Am I gay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Bi.” 

“Oh, well--”

Realizing where this was probably going, Pete interrupted, “OK, I’m not actually like into you all right? But if it still weirds you out, I can stop.” 

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind,” Patrick insisted. 

Something about it felt strange, Patrick seeming uncomfortable only to wave it away like no big deal, but Pete shrugged it off and set about convincing himself that he really wasn’t into him. 

A lot of the time, Patrick would playfully shove him off, but then he started to flirt back with him every now and then, smiling when he would lean on his shoulder, exchanging eye contact and even some giggles. Sometimes Patrick would flirt back and shove him, almost like he could tell and was toying with Pete on purpose, which was irresistible beyond his denial skills. 

Pete grew hopeful that maybe Patrick felt something too. Tentatively, he started to flirt with him when there were no eyes or cameras on them. Patrick made no (serious) protest against it, until eventually Pete leaning on Patrick’s shoulder, listening as he hummed or played an idea, was the most natural thing in the world. 

For a while, things were amazing. They grew more comfortable and honest with each other as sparks of inspiration bounced between them. But then, as the hype of From Under The Cork Tree settled, Pete fell from mania into depression as doubts crept into his mind. He wondered if maybe it was just close friendship to Patrick, who had still given no clear indication that he wasn't straight. He wondered if the people who said he was just a stupid attention whore were right. 

He withdrew. Patrick as well as Joe and Andy noticed and tried to talk to him, but Pete found he would either not know how to explain how he felt to them or not totally believe their attempts to assure him he was better than he thought he was. 

Pete would flip between acting aloof and possessive toward Patrick, trying to look like nothing bothered him when really he was scared of losing something that wasn't even rightfully his. He couldn't blame Patrick for calling him out on his controlling behavior. They fought and eventually made up, but the guilt--the feeling like he wasn't good for his friends--lingered, flaring when he would do or say something reckless or thoughtless. 

Something changed after Pete’s suicide attempt. Although Patrick tried to be a good, supportive friend after the ordeal, sometimes being close to him, but just not quite as close as he longed for, hurt. Patrick seemed to pick up on it to some extent and gave him a little space, which also hurt. 

Ashlee Simpson was Pete’s savior, or so he thought at the time. He liked her, and she liked him back, and with her, he could have fun and forget about Patrick. It eased his emotional turbulence around his songwriting partner, and it was much easier to focus with a clear head. 

But the peace didn't last forever. They argued frequently while working on Folie a Deux. Pete’s feelings for Patrick were resurfacing, though he was certainly too frustrated to admit that, and it would be pointless to do so when he was going out on dates with girls anyway. Instead he’d storm away, call Ashlee, and complain about Patrick being a jerk for no reason until he cooled down. 

After Folie, they all agreed to take a break from Fall out Boy, so they could find themselves or some shit like that. Really, Pete just needed to get away from Patrick, flee from all those feelings. 

As a couple years passed, Ashlee and Pete drifted apart. The spark faded, and they always seemed to think of different places to go and different people to see. The final straw that woke Ashlee up to the realization was Pete saying the name of the singer he missed one night instead of hers. She divorced him after that, saying they should both go get the one they truly wanted. 

 

Now, here Pete was at last, face to face with the best friend he couldn’t help but love. He wasn’t sure whether or not it had been a good idea to arrange this, but then, he was lonely and desperate, and sometimes he still didn’t think about things before doing them.

Patrick flinched at the venom in Pete’s voice. “Yeah, I get that it might be awkward for you too, but how was I supposed to know when you’d want to talk to me? How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t just push me away again?” Patrick demanded. He stopped himself as he recognized the defensive motion of Pete crossing his arms and folding in a little, resolving to stay calm and not to let this descend into an an argument and repeat 2009. 

It was just frustrating, the mixed signals Pete had always given him.   
It was no fair that Pete could know he was bisexual since the beginning, flirt with him on stage, but then say he had no feelings for him when Patrick had no idea he wasn’t straight until meeting him. Maybe he shouldn’t have told him to go ahead and keep up the fanservice, but a part of him that he hadn’t even completely accepted yet was hoping Pete would change his mind. 

Then, Pete started to hug him and lean into him when no one was watching, or just Joe and Andy. For a while, he thought maybe Pete was serious. Sometimes he wanted to ask Joe if it looked like Pete liked him, make sure it wasn’t in his imagination, but he couldn’t seem to summon the courage, even though he was sure Joe would accept him being bi. It was he who wasn’t accepting himself. 

Patrick lost hope when Pete closed himself off in a depressive phase. He was never sure what to do, and nothing he tried seemed to help.

But Ashlee did. Pete started dating her, and then suddenly he was almost stable. While he was glad to see someone make him feel better, he couldn't help feeling jealous sometimes. Maybe that made it his fault for all the fights during Folie, but Pete going and rambling to Ashlee about what a jerk he was certainly didn't help him deal with that feeling or his self esteem in general. He seriously wondered if they were better off without each other. 

Patrick still wasn't sure, but he knew Fall Out Boy meant a lot to him, and he was willing to give it a chance. 

“I pushed you away?!” Pete wanted to reply, but held back just long enough to acknowledge that he sort of had. “I… I don’t know. I just thought… I don't know why, but I thought you'd be braver than me, maybe cuz you're the sane one.” 

“I might not be bipolar, but I’ve had other crap to deal with. Like I tried to keep going on my own, but that didn't go so well--” 

“Yeah, I heard about Soul Punk and what the fans said,” scowled Pete. “Your fanbase doesn't deserve you. But then, neither do I.” 

“Pete, don't say that.” 

“Why not? I should have said something. I should have been there for you. I’m just a self absorbed--” 

Patrick hugged him, as sudden as Pete used to do to him, kissing his cheek. It got him to shut up. He stepped back a little and hesitantly looked up into Pete’s stunned eyes. “Maybe I shouldn't have done that, I just… missed you,” he blushed, backing away. 

Pete caught his hand. “I missed you too,” he replied, a little shakily, pulling Patrick back in. 

Filled with relief, Patrick sighed and let his head settle on Pete’s shoulder like it had never left it. He felt Pete’s head turn and, before he could think twice, he touched Pete’s cheek and angled his own face to bring their lips together. 

It was a long first kiss, probably because of how long it had been anticipated. When they finally did pull away, they remained in embrace, still too entranced by each other to do anything else. 

Eventually, Patrick said, “So, I have some melodies in my head that I couldn't seem to find the right words to. Do you have anything?” 

“Uh… yeah,” answered Pete after a second to wake up from the daze. He forgot which pocket his phone was in, but found it, then scrolled through pages of digital notes. He hesitated. “Um… they might be sort of sad.” 

Patrick just gave him a blank look, not understanding how this was unusual. 

“They're about Fall Out Boy and Ashlee,” he clarified. “You sure you want to read that?” 

“Yes,” replied Patrick, instantly and sincerely. 

With that, Pete handed him the phone. 

The lyrics brought up a mix of emotions, but Patrick did not regret reading a single word of what would become Just One Yesterday and Miss Missing You.


End file.
